I discovered this article on Facebook and decided to have a go at it, as I found it very dogmatic yet interesting. There is also widespread empirical relevance on the matter, which makes it, I hope, socially bubble-popping for whoever is reading. Do read the mentioned article to ease some of my burden on explaining.
She writes : " Gentleman, you are part of a new era, the era of the emotionally unavailable woman. "
- Well, this doesn't bode well for relationships...
" The Millennial women is different from the women of former generations. We're extremely career-driven, goal-orientated, and independent. Since we tend to gear towards this path in life-- to make our mark and leave with a legacy. "
- So I presume she thinks that women who prefer raising families, being obedient to husbands and other traditional notions of women do not leave notable legacies? So women of the yester-generations like Margaret Thatcher, Rosa Parks and Mother Teresa, didn't make their marks in history?
" There is absolutely nothing wrong with being emotionally unavailable. In fact, this generation of women is the finest we have ever seen. We've traded our recipe books for iphones full of networking contacts ; We've traded early motherhood for for corporations. "
- Why is this remotely beneficial? What about ' being cold ' is good for any relationship? Finest? She must then be referring to contemporary female role models Miley Cyrus and Nicki Minaj. What makes any of these trade-offs definitively advantageous? I don't think society gets degraded by having a few more women who can cook, or a few more women with the ability to bear responsibility at a young age. This isn't to say networking and the finance sector is muted in its value, but why think of them as better?
" We want more out of life than what has been previously allotted. In fact, we want it all. We control our destinies, and this makes us slightly fearsome, but also thoroughly impressive. "
- Because child-bearing and family building is loathsome and destiny-obliterating but making money gives real empowerment and self worth as a women at age 25.
" The Millennial woman shouldn’t be resented, gentlemen, but instead, needs to be embraced and accepted. We want partners, not patrons. We want to achieve substantial goals, not live vicariously through yours. "
- If this is indeed what a Millennial women should be( I don't for one second agree, but let's say I do ), then it should be resented. Because it makes women think that they should behave like men, aggressive and egocentric, while understanding traditional women qualities like gentleness and obedience to be repulsive.
" We are an upgraded version of the soft and fragile characters we are often so wrongly assigned. "
- Err... upgraded?
" In fact, the relationships we can provide are multilayered and unique. We’ll challenge you and frustrate you. We’ll motivate you and push you to be the best you can be. With the emotionally unavailable woman, you’re exchanging normal female roles for atypical, far superior partnerships. "
- Yeah, because only modern women can motivate and drive men, unlike the billions of traditional women around the world that constantly go through hard life conditions to maintain her household while being as mentally stable as possible and gentle in touch.
" The emotionally unavailable woman feels slightly guilty about being affectionate, as if it somehow betrays our feminist ideals. We’re also afraid that expressing ourselves fully could put us in a potentially vulnerable position. "
- Desires a relationship, but wants not to be exposed or vulnerable. Like wanting to swim, but hoping not to get wet. These feminist ideals seem to be really good at blocking meaningful relationships.
" It’s not that we don’t want to feel happy; it’s that we don’t want to feel susceptible to what that happiness means. "
- But how can one feel happy if they don't know what happiness means, or is?
" If this isn’t happiness we’ve created for ourselves, for instance, like a great ad campaign or an intriguing article, we fear the possibility of it being taken away. The emotionally unavailable woman prefers feelings of happiness that she has direct control over. "
- Why think, that which we have direct control over, can't also slip through our grasps?
" We ladies will feign indifference when we want you to take initiative because, once again, we don’t want to be vulnerable. Being direct, by asking a man to stay the night, would open us up to the possibility of rejection. "
- But I was made aware earlier, that feminist are robust, steadfast and strong individuals that likes a challenge and can stand on their own two feet. How did this narrative of women suddenly slide into fear of rejection and the shunning of vulnerability? Wouldn't these iron-hided women demonstrate high levels of imperturbability?
" We ladies don’t want to jump in the deep end and compliment you on your kindness or profound intellect. By objectifying you, you’re less threatening. Sex and good looks make for an easier complement. "
- Ah, the quintessential modern-day feminist slogan. ' We can't be asked to be submissive but we can treat you as lumps of atoms and molecules, thereby allowing ourselves to call you animals! YAY! '
" We will engage in the bedroom with aggressive gusto. What we lack in emotional availability we promise to make up for with sexual insatiability. "
- sigh...
Conclusion :
This woman, or man( since the distinctions are blurred and unimportant ), is without a doubt a walking oxymoron. On one hand there is great aspirations to be full of spine and gusto, on the other a deep display of insecurity and detestation of the unknown. Why would the fearsome be afraid of fear?
Such is the inauthenticity of the views provided in this article. If this is what we should expect from the so called ' Millennials ', then to paraphrase Ronald Reagan :" I am selling my bonds! "
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